Archive | April, 2013

I’m glad I never moved on

24 Apr

I’ve never forgotten about him.

We see each other by chance and each time pained me back then. The previous posts of him are proofs that there has always been a part of me that never moved on from him. Maybe I never moved on because I shouldn’t.

When I saw him again after a few months at my favorite milk tea store. I came from school and decided to reward myself when I saw my grades. Before I could enter, I sensed that something will happen. When I entered, he was there with two girls. I kept having eye contact with him before I sat down with my sister and her friends who were there. When I was about to order, I saw him stood up and was about to leave. For the first time, I really wanted to call him and say his name. When he passed me by, it was the most painful encounter I had experienced. I looked at his retrieving back as he went away. I tried to look as if I was okay but deep inside, I felt my heart being torn apart. I know I shouldn’t be affected, but I was.

Days later, he messaged me. I saw his picture and it was him and one of the girls from when I saw him. We talked a little and asked for my number. I gave him my number even if I know I shouldn’t. At the end of his message, he told me that if we were meant to be, then we’d see each other by coincidence. I was troubled having him back in my life. I had allowed someone who had gravely hurt me to come back. When he would text me, I would reply once and try to immediately end the conversation. Days later, I accidentally saw him again at the same milk tea store. He was with his friends again while I was with my sister. He was surprised to see me. He was texted me and of course I was hurt because his girlfriend was there but he still wanted to see me from what he said in his text. When I saw them leaving, I told my sister we should leave too. We went to the salon where my grandmother was when I received a text from him asking if we could meet at the milk tea store. I told them I was going to the bathroom there when in fact, I will meet him. He began asking how each other was until he told me his side why he left me before and I wanted to cry at that time. I told how I felt, how I got mad and how everything was painful to me. He apologized but it just wasn’t enough. He asked me if we could go out and all I could say was I’ll see when I’m free. I don’t know if I really wanted to go out with him them or not.

When we had set a date, I asked him about his girlfriend. He had told me about wanting to break up with the girl but couldn’t, I don’t know what to feel. A part of me was quite happy. He asked me if I think of him as a playboy and I told him what I thought about him. He said he’ll do everything to prove to me that he isn’t. Inside, I was hoping he was saying the truth. I realized that there was always a part of me that still held unto him.

I’m glad I never moved on from him.

The night before our date, he made sure that things were over between him and the girl. It seems bad to others, but all I know is that I wanted to know if he was serious this time. He assured me about it. When the day of the date came, he asked me if he could bring two friends just to prove that he was serious with me and that things were over between him and the girl. I agreed and I met them. They were a couple, the guy was a friend of him that I’ve met from before and the girl was his ex’s sister. I talked with her and she told me that he and her sister were over. She told me that he was serious with me and that I shouldn’t let him slip away. She was a nice person and I would love to befriend her. After the lunch, he and I said goodbye to them and we hailed a cab to our next destination. During the ride, he asked me if I could give him a chance and having already made up my mind before the date, I told him yes. We ended up laughing and talking about many things. When I took out my earphones, we listened to a song from my ipod. I told him I have the song he recommended me the night from before. The title was Foreigner’s Confession by Akdong Musician from Kpop Star. When the song ended, I chose a next song, High by the Speaks ft. Barbie Almalbis. I kept singing the song and was surprised when in the midst of it, he suddenly held my hand. I took a side glance at our hands and I tightened the grip of his hand. At the end of ┬áthe song, he immediately pulled out my earphone and asked me if our anniversary would be the date of that day then. I just laughed and nodded.

Some things are worth to be given a second chance.

True enough, that’s how things have always been for me. I’m still testing and trying to hold myself from getting too attached at him. The pain from before is there. I’m still afraid that he might do the same thing again but I am slowly trusting him again. We’re better now. Who would’ve thought that I would still find my happiness in him again? Things are official now and clear between us. We’ve only been together for a short while, but even after we had separated the last time, you can say that both of us still longed for the other. Maybe we really are meant to be together. I don’t know until when but I am sure that it’s him that I want to be with right now.

 

I used to say that I want a guy who would make me love him more than I love Super Junior… and maybe, just maybe, I found the one.