Archive | September, 2013

You chose that girl over this girl.

29 Sep

You chose the girl who took a time off school than the girl who diligently did her best at school.

 

You chose the girl who can be wrong at speaking English than the girl who speak and write the language with her heart.

 

You chose the girl who is unsure of what she wants in life than the girl who has her future waiting on her hands.

 

You chose the girl who ran away from home than the girl who loves her family.

 

You chose the girl who is near your age but acts immaturely than the girl who is younger but thinks maturely.

 

You chose the girl who can give you IT than the girl who holds her beliefs and wait for the right time to give it.

 

You chose the girl who is popular and a flirt than a down-to-earth and happy-go-lucky girl.

 

You chose the girl who has a child than the girl who is pure and innocent.

 

You chose the girl who had cheated and hurt you than the girl who stayed loyal and love you so much.

 

 

This girl is bitter because you chose that girl. But she realizes it’s your loss.

 

 

You chose her over me.

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Date a Man Who Hopes

24 Sep

angperegrino.com

HOPE HANDS-blog-130923

by Eric Santillan

I read the essay Date a Man Who Dreams the other day and I was inspired to write this because I feel there is something greater than dreams. And that is hope.

Date a man who hopes. He will be a great companion. You can rant all you want, and he will be there to hold your hand. He will see things differently and give you perspective. You can tell him your problems, and he will listen to you, and while he may not have all the solutions, he knows there is one. In fact, he also knows that sometimes the ‘solution’ is really just to listen to you without giving advice.

Date a man who hopes. He will go through shit, but will be okay. He will have the capacity to wait things out, the patience not to make any drastic decisions, and the belief that…

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MASS COMMUNICATION: Underestimated?

21 Sep

worldknots

Posted by The Girl Behind The Pen

A lot of people have underestimated the course Mass communication before and it’s bad that until now, there are still, those who are belittling this field.

Some people say that Mass Com doesn’t need to be learned—that people don’t need to study this field. If you are a Mass Communication graduate or student, it is not new to you to encounter this. But why do people think that Mass Com is just a waste of time and effort? To be a honest, it feels degrading for a Mass Com student like me to hear those words coming from my own dorm-mates whose course are Nursing, Internal Auditing, and Engineering.

If there are no subjects about Mass Com, imagine a world without movies, talk shows, reality shows, TV series and so much more in the entertainment industry. If Mass Com does not exist, imagine…

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She and He

12 Sep

I would like to tell a story of two people, of different nationalities, of different ages, of different beliefs, of different cultures and of so much more. She was a Filipina and he was Korean. She was 17 and he was 22 when they first met each other. She was dreaming of love, like of those in the tv shows she watches, like of those Korean dramas she adored. She had an ideal guy, just like her biases in Kpop groups, just like those leading men in Korean dramas. He came to the Philippines, just a few months after serving in the army. His goal was just to study English for 6 months. But he fell in love with the Philippines and had thought whether to continue his studies or go home. He was granted a few months extension of staying here.  During that time, he had met her. He began going to the gym to maintain his figure and she had began going to the gym because she wanted to lose weight. The moment she had saw him, it was crush at first sight.

 

This girl… She’s busy with school. But she was busy with him too. She had always written stories and fanfictions of her favorite idols, making her fantasies come true, even in stories. She got busy with reality because it was better than any love story she has read or written.

She likes him, like a high school girl does. She would ask help to get to know him. It was just a simple crush, she thought. Nothing more than friends, she had hoped. But love and cupid loves to make things more exciting for her. Thinking she was just the only one who got hit, it seems that he was also hit. She never expected it, the casual conversations he started that gave her blushes and when he asked her out the first time.

 

They had a simple dinner and she cherished it. He enjoyed her personality. She was the talkative, bubbly, sociable and happy-go-lucky Filipina girl. He was the quiet, shy and appealing Korean boy. She loves Kpop but doesn’t tell him. He listens to some but not that much. He guessed her favorite, but she’d rather not talk about it when they’re together. That night after the date, they both couldn’t sleep.

 

He was everything she had ever wanted in a guy and more. She was more than what the he could look for in a girl. He was like a sweet icing on a cake. She was like a sun after a cloudy day.

 

Alas, it was short lived. He was bound to return to Korea. His mother had wanted him back. He never told her. He broke things off and she was devastated. She was having problems with her family then and him leaving her added gasoline to the flames.

 

He didn’t leave. His parents had allowed him to stay. It was already too late for him to go back to her. He got himself someone new and she found out. All she could do then was cry. It took her a long while before she was able to stand up with her held high and say she’s over him. Just when she thought she was, she saw him. It was one rainy day in September when they had accidentally saw each other. They were walking just a few feet away from each other. That night, she had cried.

 

It was also in September when she received a text from her gym trainer. He was looking for her. She doesn’t know what to respond and said okay. He was afraid.

 

More months after, she began going back to that place where they first met. There, she had met two of his friends. They were curious to who was the “beautiful Filipina girl he once dated”. Although flattered, the words “he once dated” made a more impact on her. Being the sociable her, she would initiate conversations with them. Soon, one of those guys had liked her.

 

She wasn’t interested. He was hurt.

 

She wasn’t into getting into a relationship. She also only sees the guy as a friend. He let his friend like her and make moves on her. He thought they’d be together. Instead of her getting into a relationship, he was the one who had one.

 

Months more, it has been more than a year has passed since they met. It was over a year when they had their first date. It has been so long since he left her. Yet, she still thinks of him.

 

Love is cruel. Love is tricky. Love will come knocking when you least expected it.

 

In the summer of 2013, they had ran into each other again. She sat with her sister and her sister’s friends, a table across where he and his girlfriend sat. While she got her order of milktea, he left. He passed her by and she realized, she never completely moved on. She thought it was a mistake when he messaged her on facebook one weekend. He wasn’t mistaken. A simple conversation but she still thought of the pain. In the end, she gave him her number and parted with, “If we are meant to be, we would see each other again soon.”

 

As if fate was playing on them, they run into each other again days later. She was with her sister and he was with his girlfriend and their friends. He made his friend leave with his girlfriend and other friend, so he could have a chat with her. She told him how hurt she was. He told his side. He was set to fly back to Korea but had managed to convince his parents to stay and study. He was also afraid that they’re age difference was an issue. It never was to anyone except him, apparently. He wanted to take her back, but he was afraid. He knows it was already too late. He thought she and his friend would be together. She wanted to say that it was still him for her all this time. He asked her out and she agreed with conditions.

 

He was still committed to another Filipina girl. She doesn’t want to be the third party. He broke with that girl just to be with her. Knowing she would be doubtful, he brought his friend and his friend’s girlfriend, who also happened to be the sister of his previous girlfriend. They told her, they were surprised as to why they have to do this for that one girl for him. She knew at that time, he was determined to get her back.

 

It’s always sweeter the second time around, they say. She didn’t regret it. He was the reason of the fast pulse that runs through her body, the one that fuels her hypothalamus gland, the thought that keeps her awake at night and the Korean boy she loves the most, even more than Kim Heechul. She was the faith that he wanted, the youth he never thought he’d have and the first Filipina he had love.

 

Marriage and the future was a common talk for couples. They, too, had talked about it. She never gave great thought that it would come true. But as time went by, she started to believe it was possible. When they planned for her to be introduced to his parents and when they thought about how to tell her parents they got back together, she was beginning to think it was possible. They had talk about their jobs but still haven’t chosen whether to live in the Philippines, Korea, Singapore or Canada. One thing’s for sure though, he doesn’t want Singapore. The most likely choices were either Korea or Canada.

 

She was always the one who gives more. Not because he lacks too, but she just does. She would text or message him more often that he does. She would be the one would say I love you or I miss you more. She was the one who gave him 24 letters of why she loves him on his 24th birthday, along with an oreo cheesecake. She was filled with romantic ideas. He was not. He would take her out on dates, paying for everything. She would feel guilty at times because he would spend a lot on her. It was like her full week allowance on their one date, but he would insist and wouldn’t mind. He would joke her he would just ask from his father for money. He would play with her hand and fingers when entangled and he would pinch her chubby cheeks. He would walk her home, especially at night. Then by the street lamp or under the stars, he’d give her a parting kiss she would always treasure.

It was a smooth sailing. But the strong waves came faster than she had thought. He became too busy with school, wanting to cool off things with her. He doesn’t want her to get hurt. He wants space but he also doesn’t want to let her go. It was then that they started to become distant. Just like other couples, it was the lack of effort and initiative that had their relationship easily deteriorate.

Then came the time she had blown up like a volcano with her suspicions of him cheating and a result of lying.

 

It was a fight they couldn’t fix anymore. He had declared a break up and she couldn’t do anything. At first she accepted it but as time went by, she could only cry. She misses him but she got tired when it felt like she was the only one who wanted the relationship to work until even she doesn’t even initiated anymore. She thinks about him every day until today. She would think of two things to tell him in case they would see each other again. She would be sorry for all the times she would get mad at him for petty reasons and she’s sorry she couldn’t make him happy the way she should. She also wanted to thank him for everything. Because for once in her life, she knows how it was to be wanted and loved by someone loves you and cares for you too. She was the happiest girl in the world with him. She was a princess who wanted nothing more than time spent with her prince. Amidst all the promises of the future they made and imaginations she thought of, he was the dream that she wanted to be real.

 

He told her he thinks they should just be friends. She accepted it because it was better than nothing. He didn’t cut off all communication ties with her and gave her that tiny hope that maybe, just maybe, he still wanted her to be part of his life. Yet being called friend never sounded more painful when he called her that.

 

She thinks of him, wondering if he also thinks of her. She thinks if he also has second thoughts about ending the relationship. She thinks if he still loves her the way she loves him.

 

She knows it may not happen, because if he still wanted to, he should have done or said something. She wants him back, but she doesn’t want to force him. “I wanted to be loved, but I didn’t want to beg for it,” she recalls from I need a romance 2. She lives by those words now. She loves him. She still wants to be loved by him… But she doesn’t want to beg for it. She wants for him to go back, not because she pitied him or she begged him, but because he wants to; when he had realized that he still wants her the same way she does.

 

 She still loves him, but she thinks that maybe they are like one of those couples that were meant to be given a second chance, only to realize that it’s not going to work out the way they wanted to.

 

And now, all she can say is, she wouldn’t want or isn’t ready to love another Korean guy greater than him. 

Maybe In Another Universe, I Deserve You

4 Sep

“If this theory holds, well, by the law of averages, there had to be one universe — just this one — where we don’t end up together.”

Thought Catalog

What if, in another universe, I deserve you?

Hear me out. There’s this philosopher from the 1890s named William James, and he coined this theory about “the multiverse” which suggests that a hypothetical set of multiple universes comprises everything that can possibly exist simultaneously.

Are you following? The entirety of space, time, matter and energy is all happening at once in different timelines: It’s the idea of parallel universes. Right? So okay, let’s presume the multiverse is real.

Well then, maybe somewhere in those infinite universes is one, or several, where I deserve you.

Maybe there’s a universe out there — happening now — where we end up together and when I close my eyes at night, I’m not dreaming the way a normal person would. Instead I’m seeing flashes of our lives in the multiverse. They’re not simple dreams because I miss you, right? They’re scientific, anachronistic visions.

For…

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Relationships, Flings, Boys and Teenage years

2 Sep

I’m turning 19 in less than 2 months and I look back to my teenage years. I compared my expectations and thoughts when I was about to enter my teenage years with my thoughts and realizations now that I’m almost about to hit my last year of being a teenager.

 

First things first, having a boyfriend isn’t everything. Maybe I was so succumbed by media and that the idea of having a boyfriend in high school was everything that I got into flings and into a relationship that I wasn’t mostly happy with.

 

The summer after my elementary graduation and before I enter high school, it was the first time I had a fling. It was a guy 5 years older than me. I don’t even remember where I got his number but we’ve spent a few weeks texting and calling each other. Looking back, I shamefully remembered how I cried about him. It didn’t last long and I was introduced by a guy through text too. A guy 3 years older than me. It lasted for about 3 weeks until one day he just didn’t text me. The next person I had a fling with became my first boyfriend. We met through texting too and I was so eager to be in a relationship that I had said yes to him. It wasn’t everything that I had wanted and hoped for. At an early age of 12, I met hell when it comes to relationship. He didn’t physically hurt me but I did get into trouble for being with him and suffered emotionally. He would always fight with me and would want to do things I do not want, leading with him fighting with me. I got so caught up and tired with our fights and on-off relationship so when it was one of those times he’d break off, he probably expected that I’d come back. But I didn’t. After almost 3 years of a relationship with him, I decided to end things with him. I broke up with him when I was 15. I was to enter my senior year in high school. I had decided that for my last year in high school, I would want to enjoy it with no worries. I didn’t want to entertain relationships that time but I did have a crush. Too bad he was a jerk though.

 

I also realized that your boyfriend in high school may not be the one you’d end up with. At least for me, it didn’t. Especially when there would be troubles between the two of you and fights are very often, it’s obvious that it won’t last long. When we broke up, I thought no one could love me again or I’d probably die single. But this perception of mine changed when I reached college.

 

I probably don’t realize that there is such a bigger world outside my school. There are many people and I could have met my future husband somewhere at a place I don’t expect. At college, I had accepted the fact that I could also not marry Kim Heechul. I’ve been a fan since 2009 up to the present (celebrates his return from army! ^^) and I always thought it would be possible for me to end up with him. I was probably so enchanted by the idea that I could marry him one day. I did not realize that one, there are many woman in the world who also like him. Two, I am not in South Korea. Three, I am not Korean (since he’d probably or most likely date a Korean girl) and four, we have an 11-year age difference. I love him too much that there was a time I had love him more than my ex-boyfriend (when we were still together) and he actually blamed Kpop why we broke up (when it was actually all his fault for being too aggressive and demanding).

 

I liked too much Kpop and Korean music that my taste in men had shifted to Koreans too or guys with small eyes, white skin and nice hair. It’s not that I don’t also like what I used to like because I still do, a guy who looks like he can protect me and have a strong guy feel. He also has to be taller and older than me (lol).

 

When I entered college, I thought I was ready to be in a relationship. I made friends that had their boyfriends and I was jealous. Even when sharing about stories about exes, my story was one I do not want to look back to. When I entered college, I do not target Filipino guys anymore, rather, Koreans. I probably flirted with about 4 Korean guys beside my current boyfriend since college. It felt different compared to Filipinos though since different nationalities.

 

 

Taking these aside, why did I talk about those things in life? Because those were the times when I thought love and relationships was everything for a teenager. Now, I realized that the highlight of your teenage years isn’t just about having a boyfriend (it’s a bonus if you have one and you enjoy your relationship). I think it’s the time happily spent with family and friends. There’s nothing better than spending time with the people you love. It was kind of late for me when I realized that. I spent my early years of teenagers wanting to be in a relationship and wanting to grow up when I was not prepared of the things that await of me.

 

Now I value the time I get to spend with my friends from high school because we could only see each other every few months now. I value the time with my college friends because once we graduate, we’d obviously be working at different fields and companies. I value the time with my family too, because one day, I would make my own and have less for my family now.

 

I think being a teenage is the funnest and probably some of the worst years of our lives. You can be old to others and still ask money from your parents. You can hang out with your friends and date guys without having to worry about commitment. It can be the most sensitive years for you too but it’s not that worst when you think about it because you’re one of those fortunate ones who have no financial problems or fulfilling the duties of parents that you shouldn’t.

 

Moving on, don’t worry about the guy you’d end up with in the future. If you’re meant for someone, then you are. Love will come unexpected. Coming from experience, who’d thought I’d be with the guy I really have a huge crush on and possesses most of the qualities I want in the guy. No one. No one can tell. I believe in the saying that if it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be. 

 

Anyway, being a teenager is about having fun. At least for me, that’s how I see it. If high school seemed suckish for you and wants to ruin your life, then make your college wonderful. That’s what I did. From almost failing few subjects in high school because of my lack of studying and interest on some subjects, I’m trying to excel at college, especially at my major subjects because this course is what I want anyway. From the worst boyfriend I could have in high school, to the best boyfriend I could have and more now that I’m in college. I love both my friends in high school and college. My block in college now is also a factor. I hated those ‘popular’ ones back in high school because they think everyone likes them and they’re better. I got lucky in my block this year because we’re close (well, most of us) and I really love being with them. Other blocks are so mean and divided, unlike us, wherein most of us eat outside during our 4 hour Saturday break.

 

In the end, I could only say to enjoy your years of being a teenager. Even as you grow old too, don’t forget to enjoy and have fun.