Archive | December, 2013

Opening the Heart to Someone New

27 Dec

How do you know you’re ready to fall in love again? 

There is this so-called “3-month” rule from the movie, “One More Chance”, wherein it takes you 3 months before one is able to find someone new. It now comes out as an unwritten rule in relationships. I think 3 months is just the ideal time for healing for both parties. It hasn’t been long since the break up happened. But I was able to move on. It was a painful process, forgetting someone who used to mean so much, someone who you always thought of and someone who made you happy. But I made it. I knew it was all over when we chatted and I felt nothing. I remember seeing him too and nothing. Despite the forgotten feelings, the effect of the break up and the bad experiences I had on the previous relationship greatly affected my outlook on potential relationships.

I had developed a fear that my next boyfriend would do the same to me, he would only be sweet in the beginning, he would put me at the side, he would not give me enough attention and most of all, he would also leave me for another girl. It was because of my fear that  when there was someone good, I had doubts. I had fears. I like him, no doubt and he had like me too. But I was afraid. He was bound to leave the country a few days after he just confessed to me. I had to make a choice, leave things because I was afraid he’d do the same things my ex did, or take trust him my heart and take things to the next level. 

I chose the latter one. 

I didn’t regret things. I was happy. For the first time, the people around us was also happy and supportive of us. I was used to be told that the guy I like wasn’t good. But here’s a guy who just seems everyone is in favor of for me. He was just so serious and I’m not used to it. I would often tell him I’m afraid he would leave me, but he’d tell me I shouldn’t worry about that because he won’t and can’t do it. I trusted him and so far, it’s been a wonderful decision. We’re now in different continents with a 3-hour difference and we’re trying to manage our time together. He had wished he could’ve stayed here in the country for me, but alas, he couldn’t.

Because I had gotten used to being treated badly and put to the side from the previous relationship, some things in the new relationship feels different. We had our first argument with me getting mad about him smoking a lot, that was to his defense wasn’t a lot. But he didn’t think I was mad at him that he smoked. He spent an hour trying to make me feel better but I just kept it in. As I had told my friend, I’m not used to having a guy be this persistent to know what’s wrong with me. In the end, he slept because it was 1 in the morning to where he was. After almost an hour of reflecting, I messaged him what was wrong, why I felt upset and that I was used to keep things to me. The following morning, we had a voice call and we both apologized. 

I’m getting used to everything again, the sweet feeling of being special, being called a lot of sweet nicknames and not just one, being told that he loves you and he misses you everyday and every time you talk, and making sure he does love you.

Trusting him my heart is the best decision I have made.