Growing Up

10 Aug

Beginning the second half of my year begins with my first job in life. In my previous post, I had been in a dilemma of choosing which path would I go. I chose the one that’s waiting for me, to go into big telecommunications company. So far, I have no regrets. It’s hard when we begin with the operations, the actual job, but with the good ambiance and nice co-workers, I feel at ease here. My schedule changes. I might go to work on weekends but I know for the standard 9 hours of work with the latest time out I have is at 10 pm. I still get my two days off, which becomes my weekend. Still better than working for no definite time of end and I have a sure pay.

Bills and supporting the house– I don’t have my own bills to pay but recently, my dad and I had the “what can you contribute to the house” talk. I have only been working for almost 2 months and my salary was delayed last cut-off plus my dad borrowed a big amount of money from me. I don’t really have much money yet. I do bring home food for my sisters now and treat them when they want (and if I can). Right now, the most I can give is to give money to buy food for the house. I can give so little though. I spend about 800-1300 pesos on myself (and food) in a week and other needs. I also told my sisters I’m going to give them money if they need but I haven’t given them anything yet since my money is small and haven’t been able to save a lot yet. I’m finally telling myself that I am growing up. I still don’t have my government ID’s too.

Then there’s this guy. Maybe I’ll just dedicate a separate post. A special guy has entered my life and so far I am happy with him. Being with him is just so overwhelming. There are things I just experienced with him and it’s nice. I could say he is part of this transition of my into the adult world.

At this point, I still don’t have a grasp of the world. I still feel small and lost at times. It makes me think, “Oh. adult life, wait. What.” It still confuses me. I still don’t know a lot of things. I wonder how the adults managed to pass this stage. I wonder what they did. I do need help though. A lot. I only have myself. When your father doesn’t support you in the things you do, you have no to turn to. Your mother is far and she isn’t there to tell you and remind you how amazing you are, it gets hard. No one believes in me more than her and it hurts when she’s far. But I guess this is part of it.

I need to stand up on my own starting now. I have to be stronger than before. I need to be braver than I was. I need to stop being a coward of things. I need to show the world that I can handle this and that I’ll get through this. Slowly, but surely.


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